


a symphony of insanity

by Pomfry



Category: DCU (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Basically the Speedforce is not sunshine and daisies, Canon-Typical Violence, Codependency, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Father Figures, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, In terms of codependence, Insanity, Joker dies as he should, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Psychological Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Why do I keep on writing things as sentient
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-05 12:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12794526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomfry/pseuds/Pomfry
Summary: The Speedforce isn't kind and it isn't merciful. It's old and dangerous and horrifically, terrifyingly murderous. Barry and Wally find this out the hard way with their world crumbling beneath their feet time after time, over and over again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is... Not what I usually write, but I'm _really_ liking it.
> 
> I don't usually write for the Flash but this is super fun!
> 
> Please, tell me what you think! :D

The Speedforce is nothing but movement, nothing but _gogogo_ and very little holds its attention for long.

Really, it's lucky the Speedforce is so fascinated by humans. They're so resilient and never tell _anything_.

And so the Speedforce goes, killing those who offer themselves with the illusion of heroism in their minds and sinking its claws into those that interest it, because no one knows the price.  
  
There's a reason people go into a coma after the Speedforce chooses them.

When they wake up they have the urge to _gogogo_ and their minds are in shards, but they don't know that, and the Speedforce has all the cards.  
  
It laughs and laughs with coiling wisps of lightning between its teeth, bites to keep them in their place, and demands one.  
  
Only one.  
  
Just one to _shatter._

And, _oh,_ how the humans deliver. They deliver and they deliver, and the Speedforce grins, blood covered claws already waiting for another, whispering  _gogogo_ to those who it let's live and they go.  
  
They do, and they overload, and then they're with the Speedforce. It just _loves_ the human race.

Their minds are so easy to break and so easy to push together into a jigsaw puzzle that doesn't fit but _works,_ and the Speedforce cackles as it spins the person around and around in dizzying circles that make the mind bleed and break again.  
  
This time, it's in smaller pieces, and, this time, some are lost.  
  
It's quite fun, and when they leave, they leave with half of what they entered with, and no one's the wiser.  
  
Everyone, that is, except for the Speedforce and the chosen ones.  
  
_You asked for this,_ the Speedforce laughs into their dreams, and says _gogogo_ and they can do nothing but obey.

\--

There's a reason why Zoom is so insane.  
  
He wasn't, originally, but the Speedforce was so _bored_ that it took its fun just a bit too far and _oh-_  
  
Oops! Looks like its lost all the pieces!

But, how he screamed!  
  
He screamed and screamed and the Speedforce turned him around and around, reached in and broke.  
  
Suddenly, he wasn't screaming.  
  
The Speedforce smiled, dangerous and seductive, and said _you want to be me?_  
  
And he agreed without a thought because he was dead in the mind and the Speedforce had control.

 _I think,_ the Speedforce mused. _I'll go back._ _  
_  
"Oh Barry Allen," Zoom sang as he lurched to his feet, lightning under his feet and _gogogo_ in his blood. "I'm coming for you!"  
  
And the Speedforce smiled and laughed, because it loved Barry Allen but he died and left it alone.  
  
The Speedforce won't let that lie.

So it played with Father Time, leaned in close to his face with blood on its teeth and madness sparking in its eyes, and said, _I'll be taking this now_ as it rips his eyes from his head, said _Take me to Barry Allen_ as Father Time dropped dead at its feet.  
  
What was another dead?

\--

Barry Allen is younger and still fumbling his way through the urge to just _gogogo_ until he dies when Zoom shows up. He thinks, in the back of his mind where puzzle pieces too scorched and bent to be one, that he understands why he's like that.

But Zoom laughs the laugh that haunts Barry's dreams and stirs memories of running and running with no stopping, and suddenly Barry knows it's not a man. It's the insanity in his grin and the way that he runs like he's just energy-  
  
This is not a man, and fear shakes Barry Allen to his bones, because he knows _exactly_ what it is.  
  
"Hello Barry," Zoom says with the grin that's more of a baring of teeth. "Miss me?"

\--

Zoom dances around young Barry Allen who's feet sing _gogogo_ and goes too fast for any body to handle, and Barry can barely keep up.  
  
"Little pig, little pig, let me in!" Zoom shrieks, and Barry flinches when lightning crackles up its legs. "I can _smell_ you, piggy!"  
  
Barry digs his heels into the ground and _runs._  
  
There's only one person who can help him now, and Barry doesn't even know if he can.  
  
Zoom zips up beside him, snapping too-sharp teeth, and there's suddenly eyes in its hands.  
  
"I stole these from Father Time," it giggles, and shoves them into Barry's hands. "Take good care of them!"  
  
Then it's gone.  
  
Barry's communicator buzzes, and he only says, "Beam me up," when he can't look at silver eyes any longer.

\--

Zoom is a monster but it's a monster that the Speedforce made by hand. The original man who only wanted to be like his hero stays silent, and the Speedforce terrifies the past and future and everything in between and-  
  
_Oh._ It laughs greedily when young Wally West offers himself up, and says _you'll do nicely._  
  
Wally wakes up a ticking time bomb, with a mind that's better off dead and with his feet begging to _gogogo._

_\--_

"Uncle Barry," Wally West says as he swings his feet on the counter, "my head is weird."  
  
Barry stops cutting cucumbers. "What do you mean?" he asks, and prays that his nephew was spared the worst.  
  
"I hear this voice laughing sometimes, but I don't know where it's coming from. And sometimes I don't know how to stop running, and I want to hurt someone all the time."  
  
Barry sets the knife down and picks up his phone, hands shaking as he plays a video of Zoom cackling as he drops the dead body of an old man. "Does it sound like that?"  
  
Wally nods. "Only more high. Like Mommy!"  
  
Barry chokes back a sob and pulls his nephew into an embrace, burying his face into his hair. _It didn't spare him,_ he thinks in despair, and glares at the wide grin outside the window.  
  
"Uncle Barry?"  
  
"Yes, Wally?"  
  
"Sometimes I can't run at all."  
  
Somehow, that's worse. Barry doesn't know how, but it _is._

It is, and Barry doesn't know what the Speedforce is planning for his nephew but he _has_ to stop it.  
  
He has to.

\--

Wally West becomes Kid Flash, and when he first fights Zoom, Zoom only laughs and laughs and beats him into the ground when he goes still and frightened.  
  
"You aren't ready yet," Zoom says dismissively as Barry yells _Wally!_  
  
Wally has to take the week off of school to recover, and when Wally asks why Zoom doesn't act like a normal person, Barry wraps an arm around his nephew's shoulders, and says, "Because it isn't a person."  
  
Wally doesn't ask, because the set of Uncle Barry's mouth is straight and his eyes are watching the door as though it'll fly open, and Wally remembers the way his brain had started screaming to _get away,_ shivers, and curls up into his uncle's side.

He doesn't ask again.

\--

When Bruce asks why he's never caught Zoom, Barry's knees go weak.  
  
"Because," he says, and stops. The Speedforce is murmuring in his ear, is charging his feet and igniting his need to  _gogogo_  and he can't speak.  
  
How can he explain just how terrifying Zoom is to someone who hasn't been torn apart and put back together by the very thing Zoom houses? How can he explain just how much it scares Barry?  
  
He thinks on the eyes. Old, silver eyes that Zoom had stolen back one day, and recalls what it had said. _I stole these from Father Time!_  
  
Barry swallows. "Because."  
  
He can't. He just can't. The Speedforce is something meant to be kept secret.  
  
So Barry turns and he does what the Speedforce trained him to do. Runs until lightning sparks and thunders and the _gogogo_ is drowned out by the sounds.  
  
Barry pretends that Zoom won't attack anyone right now, and keeps on running.

\--

No one knows what Zoom wants, not even Barry Allen. Zoom does what it wants when it wants, and sometimes it just stands there and only stares.  
  
_It's like the Joker,_ some say.  
  
_It's not as bad as him,_ argues another.  
  
_It's worse,_ interrupts a third.  
  
Only one is true.  
  
Joker is, above all else, mortal. He will grow old and gray and still laugh ,but he has nothing on Zoom, nothing on the _Speedforce._  
  
Nobody acknowledges it except the rare few.  
  
Barry Allen and Wally West aren't scared of the Joker because they know of something so much worse.  
  
The Joker is, at the end of the day, only a man. But Zoom?  
  
But the _Speedforce?_  
  
It's something _more._  
  
Nobody acknowledges it but the rare few, who know that there is something worse than the Joker, and he can't even hope to compare.  
  
There's only a few that acknowledge it.  
  
They're the smart ones.

\--

When Wally West is eleven, he meets Robin.  
  
Gotham doesn't frighten Wally West. He knows of someplace worse, and his feet itch to _gogogo._  
  
"Y'know," Robin says beside him. "Most people are more scared."  
  
Wally turns and gives him a smile that's crazy and twitching and too-big. "Why is that?

There's nothing that can scare Wally West. Nothing except Zoom and the Speedforce and losing the people he loves.  
  
There's nothing that can scare Wally West because he survived hell and can take whatever anyone gives him and give it back tenfold.  
  
He's had such _terrible_ role models.  
  
A shout for help takes Robin's attention away from the shards of Wally's ruined mind, and together they run.

\--

There's a fine line between hate and love, and Zoom and Barry and Wally walk it every day.  
  
There's a fine line between love and hate, and it's so tiny that it's not surprising that the Speedforce misses it completely.  
  
It loves its speedsters., but it also hates them.  
  
There's a fine line.  
  
Barry and Wally cross it every day.  
  
Some say it's not healthy, but Barry and Wally haven't been sane since the Speedforce looked at them and said _yes._  
  
They haven't been sane in years.  
  
Why start now?

\--

One day, in the middle December, Zoom shows up in Gotham, lightning snapping at its heels, but instead of killing, it just stands there.  
  
Joker comes up, eyes wide behind his white white make up, and throws an arm around its shoulders.  
  
Zoom twitches but doesn't move.  
  
"Zoom! My buddy, my pal. Do you want to terrorize some people?"  
  
Zoom looks at him, a smile spreading across its lips, and it nods once.  
  
(Hours later, Batman and Robin and Wally and Barry walk into a safehouse, and the Joker is strung across the ceiling on Christmas lights. Written in his blood on the floor is _We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Here's your present!_  
  
Batman and Robin walk out.  
  
Barry and Wally do not.)

\--

They catch Zoom one time.  
  
They both know it's because it let them, because it looked at Wally and said, "I'm your birthday present," before arresting itself.  
  
They won't be able to hold it for long.  
  
"What is your name," Batman asks, and Zoom laughs at him.  
  
"You don't want to know my name," it says, and looks directly at Barry and Wally from the other side of the mirror. "Does he?"  
  
Wally releases a shaky breath, and Barry clenches a fist.  
  
"I can sense you," Zoom says, and that's _enough-_  
  
Barry rushes into the room and slams Zoom into the wall, ignoring Batman's attempts to get him to stop.  
  
"What did you do to Wally," he snarls, and Zoom laughs and laughs and laughs before coming close.  
  
"I tore him apart a little more than you, _Barrm,"_ It says his name like it did when he was chosen, and Barry trembles before the familiar-terrible insanity.  
  
"How do you think Speedsters can time travel?" Zoom hoots, and Barry backs away, eyes wide, because suddenly he needs to _gogogo_ and he knows Wally needs it too, needs it like air in his lungs, but they both stand their ground. "I killed Father Time!"  
  
"What did you to Wally, Barry croaks, and nobody's trying to stop him anymore. Nobody's ever seen him this pale or this scared.  
  
Then again, _Wally's_ involved.  
  
"The most basic thing I gave you," Zoom hisses, and Barry can't be still any longer. He bursts into motion, and Wally's right beside him, hearts saying _gogogo._  
  
Zoom watches them go, eyes wide and yellow.

\--

When Barry's put under mind control and no one could get him to snap out of it, J'onn has to save him.  
  
So he goes into Barry's horribly shattered mind.  
  
He screams and collapses and Barry keeps on smiling smiling smiling and playing to the beat of a song only two know.  
  
"I'll get him," Wally says quickly, and bolts to his uncle's side.  
  
"What did you see?" Batman asks, and J'onn only shakes his head.  
  
"Something... Beautiful in its savagery," J'onn says, and they both look over and Wally shrieks out a word.  
  
_"Speedforce!"_  
  
Suddenly Barry's back and holding his nephew close, eyes scanning for threats that have him shifting into a running stance, and J'onn looks ready to be sick.  
  
"I'm sorry, Uncle Barry, but you-"  
  
"No, nothing! You _don't_ say it's name!"  
  
And Wally West and Barry Allen turn into even more of enigmas.  
  
Batman narrows his eyes. He's never liked enigmas.

\--

When Barry was fifteen, he thought there was something else out there, something made of energy.  
  
He never wanted it to be real. At least, not in this way.  
  
Wally's next to him, leg crumbled beneath him and eyes unfocused, and Zoom stands above him.  
  
"Tsk, tsk," it says, just as mocking as last time. "Barry, I thought you'd gotten better."  
  
"The last fight was five minutes ago," Wally snaps, and Barry wants to shout at him to stop because the cold fury makes Barry flinch back.  
  
"So it was," Zoom says, strolling up to Barry's nephew and slamming a foot into his broken ribs. "Perhaps you'd like another one?"  
  
Wally's starting to sob from the pain, great heaving cries, and Barry can't take that.  
  
_"Stop,"_ he screams, and Zoom, amazingly, stops. _"Please_ just give us time to recover."

Zoom snorts, but flashes away in a blur of yellow, and Barry crawls over to Wally, biting his lip to keep in his own sounds.  
  
"Wally, are you okay," he demands, and Wally, all of thirteen years old, glares at him.  
  
"Obviously not!"  
  
"Right. Um," Barry grabs a couple sticks to make a splint for Wally's leg, and Wally flops on his back to stare at the sky.  
  
"Happy anniversary, Uncle Barry," he says quietly, and Barry hums a thank you as he sets Wally's leg.

\--

When Wally's fifteen, he can't run.  
  
Batman decrees that running is killing him, and that he's off the roster for heroes.  
  
Wally only thinks one thing in this haze of disbelief.  
  
_Zoom._  
  
He and Barry share a glance, and then go wait in a spot Zoom seems to like.  
  
It shows up right on time.

\--

The Speedforce is unbearably happy that they're waiting for it.  
  
"Hello," it says, curling a dead man's tongue around the words, and smiles its dagger blade smile at the way its speedsters move back.  
  
Then it notices the strange shiver running up Wally's leg, and the smile turns into a grin that makes Wally scoot back even more.  
  
"Oh," it purrs. "I suppose my little gift finally kicked in?"  
  
Wally's face turns red as he shoots to his feet. "You did this! You have to fix it," he yells, and its lip curls as Barry forces him back down.  
  
"What Wally meant to say is that Wally having his speed is very important to him, and he should greatly appreciate if you fixed it." Barry ends it with an uncertain smile.  
  
Zoom considers giving it back. The ability to _gogogo,_ to follow the instinct and run is something it knows Wally loves.  
  
But it simply smiles again and disappears.  
  
Wally's scream of rage follows it, and Zoom doesn't fight the smile coming up on its face.

\--

Wally's stunted. He can't move, can't run, can't follow the one thing his body asks for, can't _gogogo_ like he's been wanting, can't do _anything-_  
  
Wally sits at his house, staring at the wall.  
  
This is torture. It's horrible. He can't move the way all speedsters need to, and nobody understands that. They just say _don't run, Wally_ and all Wally wants to do is scream _I can't just do that!_  
  
Speedsters are made to _move,_ to run, to be faster than time and sound, to be there one moment and gone in the next.  
  
Wally groans and lays down on his bed, a weight on his chest and heart saying _gogogo_ like always, only this time he can't get to his feet and do it.  
  
Everyone says it's only _powers, Wally, it's fine._  
  
They don't understand that it's a part of him.

\--

Wally's miserable, Barry can tell as easily as the rhythm in his feet, and he knows he can do something about it.  
  
Let him _run._  
  
Zoom laughs and runs around and around him, saying, "Where's the kid, Barry?" with lightning in its eyes and fire in its wake.  
  
Barry doesn't answer, and he has to take the week off after.  
  
Nobody understands that being a speedster isn't a choice. It's not something you just - can turn off.  
  
Superman can. He turns into Clark Kent at the end of the day, and can practically cancel his strength with how careful he is.  
  
Speedsters...  
  
Everything's relative. Barry's older than a hundred. Wally fifty.  
  
And Zoom... Well, let's just say he's older than everything.  
  
Being a speedster isn't something they can control because the Speedforce chose them, broke their minds with claws and words, made them move and move until they started to be a special sort of crazy before it sent them back.  
  
So Barry shows up at his nephew's door with the Kid Flash costume, because there's only another person so understands.  
  
And it isn't Zoom.

\--

There's a kind of insanity that speedsters have. It's not like what the Joker had, and it's not traditional insanity either.  
  
No, it's something different, something so much more dangerous, because they're normal even when they slide all the way and the pieces of their mind shake and shake and they want to laugh and run and _destroy._  
  
When Wally was younger, he confessed to wanting to hurt someone all the time, and he still does. He wants to smile and grin and be the wind like his body shouts he should be, and he thinks that Gotham would welcome him and try to break him even more.  
  
Robin - Dick, now - says that sometimes Wally's smiles remind him of the Joker, and Wally grins a bit wider and carefully doesn't think about all the ways he would break his best friend and get away with it, and says, "Guess you'll have to keep an eye on me then!"  
  
It's a warning and a plead.  
  
He doesn't want to hurt people.

\--

Barry does Flashpoint to save Wally. He's made peace with his mother's death, as much as it saddens him, but Wally is withering away in front of him, and Barry thought that if he saved his mom then the accident wouldn't happen and the Speedforce wouldn't look at his nephew and say _yes_ because of the domino effect.  
  
It worked. Wally West is a happy teenager who's never went over the speed of what's normal, and for once Barry doesn't have to _gogogo_ and he sees that Wally doesn't have to either.  
  
For the first time in years, Barry doesn't have to run.  
  
And for the first time in _months,_ Wally can stand without struggling, can smile without it cracking and being far too wide, and Barry can shout for how much of makes him happy.  
  
Wally West is a normal boy.  
  
But-  
  
But then he notices everything else.  
  
Wally is fine, Wally is perfect and healthy and not dying but Bruce Wayne is dead. Superman never existed. Dick Grayson wasn't saved and is now in an orphanage. The people of Atlantis are rising and the Amazons are doing the same.  
  
And there's a man in yellow who runs and laughs and Barry goes to Gotham. He's never thought that he would beg to be broken, beg to be sent to the place that terrifies him, but he does, and the Speedforce looks at him and says, silky and dangerous, _I remember you._  
  
Barry is torn from his body and shredded as the Speedforce screams _You don't leave me! I own you,_ **_you don't leave me!_ **  
  
Barry wakes up with blood bubbling at his lips and his heart beating _gogogo_ and he hates it but it's familiar.

\--

Thomas Wayne asks him why he woke up yelling and vibrating, and Barry stares at him, eyes wide and smile shaky and twitching, and says, "I'm not sure."  
  
When Barry runs into Zoom, lighting zaps him as the thing races towards him, crazed laughter spilling from its mouth, and it says, _Hello Barry. Where's little Wally?_  
  
He says it with the voice of the Speedforce, and _that_ is what makes Barry run.  
  
He runs and he runs, and just as the realizes just what he did, he's swallowed by the time stream, and the only thing he's thinking of is _Wally Wally Wally,_ and when he reaches the moment he saves his mom, he doesn't hesitate.  
  
He knocks himself to the ground and shrieks, "This won't save Wally!"  
  
He goes limp, and then Barry's gone.  
  
He saved his nephew from the horrors of that world.  
  
He just hopes he can save him again, even with his restless feet and shattered mind.

\--

Wally doesn't know what he did, but Zoom isn't happy. It's snapping and snarling and saying, "Barry Allen, Barry Allen, Barry Allen-"  
  
Wally's knees are weak.  
  
"What-" he stops to clear his throat. "What did he do?"  
  
Zoom's in his face in a second. "He tried to steal you away," it growls, and Wally flinches back, arms trembling.  
  
"So I'm going to steal from him."  
  
Oh shit, oh _shitshitshitshit_ it's holding a _knife-_  
  
The doors burst open, and suddenly Uncle Barry is there, lightning at his feet and dirt kicking up behind him, and Wally can breathe again.  
  
_You tried to steal him from me. You tried to steal_ **_yourself_ ** _from me._  
  
Wally holds back a frightened noise at the voice.  
  
"Let him go," Uncle Barry says, and Zoom laughs and laughs, decaying skin shaking with the force of it.  
  
_Nononono, Barry Allen,_ it hisses. **_You_ ** _don't get to make commands._ **_I_ ** _do. And I say-_  
  
The pain explodes and Wally bends over and _screams._  
  
_That Wally is going to die much sooner!_  
  
Zoom’s voice is shrill, and Wally looks up at Uncle Barry, terrified, and his uncle looks back.  
  
_Consider this your punishment, Barry Allen._ _  
_  
Then, Zoom's gone, and Wally can barely move his legs.

Wallace Rudolph West is declared paralyzed when he is eighteen, barely a week after he was saved by the Flash.  
  
It's the worst day of his life.

\--

Time is so _slow_ . It's so short and so long, but most of all it's _slow._  
  
Uncle Barry's held Father Time's eyes in his hands, has looked Zoom in the eyes as he ran to the past - speedsters truly know just how much time is relative.  
  
But at least, before, Wally could run the time away. Could run and run and not notice how little time had passed because he was going too fast and listening to the _thump-thump-thump_ of his feet against the ground and the _gogogo_ beat of his speed. Time was relative then, too, but it wasn't torture.  
  
This-  
  
_This_ is torture.  
  
Five years could go by in five minutes, and Wally can't do anything to make it go faster.

"Hey, Wally?"  
  
Wally blinks, and the world snaps into normal time, and he turns to Dick.  
  
"Yeah," he asks, and wonders how he could look anxious and eager at the same time.  
  
"Do you... Are you thinking of having a roommate?"  
  
Wally tilts his head, starting to pinch his leg before remembering that he can't feel anything down there. "No. Why?"  
  
Dick rubs the back of his head, and refuses to look Wally in the eyes. "Because I was thinking I could move in with you?" He says it uncertainly, like he doesn't even know how Wally will react.  
  
Wally blinks again. "Wait, really? Hell yeah! Move in right away!"  
  
Dick's face melts into relief, and Wally flails his arms happily, already starting plans, and _this will be the best thing ever._

_\--_

Uncle Barry doesn't think that Dick moving in will be the best thing ever.  
  
"Wally, I was going to have _you_ move in with _me_ ,” Uncle Barry says nervously, and Wally shrugs. The wheelchair is being particularly uncomfortable today, so he's on the couch with Uncle Barry pacing in front of him, wringing his hands in worry.  
  
"It's already been decided," he says, and swings his legs up to lay down on his stomach.  
  
_"Wally,"_ Uncle Barry starts, and he starting to get faster, turning more per minute, and the beat in Wally's head say _gogogo_ with each step he makes.  
  
_"Uncle Barry,"_ Wally returns, and smiles at him. It's the smile only Uncle Barry gets, one that's tired and small but genuine, and Uncle Barry smiles back. "It'll be fine. You'll see."  
  
Uncle Barry sighs and throws himself onto Wally's legs, then frowns and adjusts himself so that Wally's legs are on top of his. "I'm just concerned," he says quietly, messing with the laces of Wally's shoes.  
  
"Don't be," Wally laughs, and flips himself over so that he could see his uncle. "Everything will be fine. Dick will help me when I need it, and I'll - I'll make sure that he doesn't die."  
  
_But not the way I want to,_ he thinks bitterly, and Uncle Barry squeezes his ankle in sympathy.  
  
"Yeah. I'm just - what do you when you need help and Dick's off world or on a mission," Uncle Barry asks plaintively, and Wally only chuckles.  
  
"That's why you're here, and why everyone else is too." Wally grins, and Barry smiles, and Wally thinks that maybe everything will be okay _._

_\--_

Zoom shows up while Dick's away, lightning crackling up its legs, and Wally backs up his wheelchair until it hits the wall.  
  
The bread in his lap falls to the floor.  
  
"What's _this,"_ Zoom gasps, voice glitching out from mortal to otherworldly, and Wally grits his teeth, glares, and prays that Uncle Barry will be here soon. "A _crippled_ speedster? What a _surprise!"_  
  
"Yeah, no fucking thanks to you," Wally snaps, and then he's on the floor, useless legs just falling behind him, and Zoom leans in close, close enough that Wally could see the true thing behind the body.  
  
"Crippled _speedsters_ are _useless,"_ Zoom breathes, and Wally closes his eyes.  
  
He's going to die. It's inevitable.  
  
Nothing can stop the Speedforce from doing what it wants. Not even Father Time could do it.  
  
Wally takes a shaking breath, and waits as the hand laying on his back starts to vibrate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You keep on calling him an it,” Bruce notes, still deceptively serene, and Barry doesn’t really care about keeping secrets beyond the obvious.
> 
> “Yep,” Barry says, crossing his arms and popping the p. “Have you seen it? It’s a rotting corpse. The guy who was Eobard Thawne isn’t there anymore. Something else is in charge, and it’s so much more scary than a speedster.” Barry rubs his arm, shivering despite the fact that he’s always has a temperature of one hundred and one.
> 
> “I can think of several things that are scarier than a speedster,” Bruce says, and Barry laughs at his ignorance.
> 
> “There is little more scary than a speedster,” he says, hand over his mouth and shoulders jerking with the force of his laughter. “Even Clark can be brought down. Speedsters - eh, not so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. LOVE. IMAGERY. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
> 
> Also, what do you think of my Barry voice??? Kinda concerned bout it.

_Something is_ **_wrong,_ ** Barry thinks, and immediately knows it to be true.  
  
Wally hasn't answered any of his calls, Dick is at work, and Zoom has been silent for far too long.  
  
Far, _far_ too long, and Barry's fidgeting in his seat as Bruce drones on and on.  
  
Wally's vulnerable the way he is. He can't move like he did, once upon a time, can't run, and if Zoom comes after him...  
  
Barry swallows thickly. If Zoom comes after Wally, Wally's dead.  
  
"Flash." And there's the Bat.  
  
Barry looks up sheepishly, and then-  
  
Then, he gets a shiver down his spine, and Barry's _gone_ because his nephew is in danger, terrible danger, and Barry need to go, needs to get to him, _please don't let him be dead-_  
  
He's running as fast as he can towards his nephew's apartment as soon as his feet hit the ground.

 

\--

 

Barry calls Dick when he reaches Central City, hands a blur, and he can barely press down on Dick's name before he's knocking down Wally's door.  
  
_"Get here,"_ he snarls into his phone, and throws it aside to tackle Zoom away from his nephew.  
  
Zoom laughs, high pitched and horrible, and Barry wraps his hands around it's throat because _it's time to end this it went after his nephew._

 _"Barry Allen,"_ it cackles, and Barry grits his teeth to keep his arms from shaking. "Your _precious_ Wally is **_useless!"_ **  
  
Wally's dragging himself back to his wheelchair, and Barry hopes to _god_ that he has enough sense to get away, before he digs his nails into Zoom's neck.  
  
"Wally is _not_ useless, and he never will be," he says harshly, and Zoom only laughs even more before shoving him off, and Barry's immediately after him, because-  
  
Because Wally is only half way up to his seat, and Zoom's grabbing his legs, and Wally's eyes are wide with panic, and-  
  
Barry barrels into Zoom and it hits the wall, and he picks Wally up, heart beating _gogogo_ and _WallyWallyWally_ and he's a blur within a second.  
  
He can't beat Zoom. It's not possible, but he can do what it gave him the ability to do.  
  
_Run._  
  
So he does.

 

\--

 

Barry's run around the world twice over with Zoom only a moment behind before he thinks about the Watchtower.  
  
Wally's unconscious in his arms, head against his shoulder, and it's like the times when he was younger and got tired, but it _not_ and, as far as Barry knows, he needs medical attention _now._  
  
He manages to get to his comm, and when one heavily irritated Bruce answers it, he barks, _"Get me up there_ **_now."_ ** This isn't time to play around. Wally is injured, he has Zoom on his heels, and Barry has exactly zero patience for that kind of shit, so then the light envelopes him, Barry gives Zoom the most evil grin he can, one born from watching Zoom all these years, and then his feet are not on soil but on metal, and Barry nearly collapses in relief.  
  
"Get Wally medical treatment," he gasps, and then Wally's gone, carried by Clark, and Barry follows, because since Wally came into his life he's been his compass and his name is right beside the _gogogo_ and it's the same for Wally with him.  
  
He ignores every other attempt to get his attention, because the center of his world is in Clark's arms, and it's what needs him now more than anything.  
  
So _what_ if that's a little unhealthy? So _what_ if Barry would abandon everyone in an instant if Wally asked him to, so _what_ if Wally was threatened he would do whatever anyone told him to?  
  
The Speedforce has never been about healthy things. Guess it spread.

 

\--

 

Wally wakes up to lights - _familiar_ lights.  
  
He's in a hospital, or at least a medical part of a superhero place, and Uncle Barry is asleep beside him on his right and Dick's on his left, head cushioned on Wally's legs.  
  
Wally blinks, groaning, and Uncle Barry's awake immediately, eyes groggy with sleep but ready to fight.  
  
"Hey, Uncle Barry," he says softly, and Uncle Barry smiles, that twitchy, genuine smile that he only gives Wally, and lays a hand over his.  
  
"Hey," he replies, and Wally nearly cries from relief that this isn't a dream or something Zoom's doing to fuck with him, because when Zoom tries to impersonate Uncle Barry it sounds cruel and hard, but this - this is Uncle Barry.  
  
"How're you doing," Uncle Barry continues, and Wally gives him a smile.  
  
"I'm doing fine," he says, and while he may be dying, and he's still paralyzed, it's the truth. The two most important people in his life are beside him, safe in space, and Wally's never been better.

"So," Wally says after a moment of quiet, and sits up with a small wince. "Are we in the Watchtower?"  
  
Uncle Barry nods. "Yeah. Pissed Zoom off before we got here though."  
  
Wally blanches, because pissing Zoom - and therefore the goddamn Speedforce - is suicidal. And it already wanted him dead, _fuck!_  
  
Uncle Barry grins weakly. "Yeah. We might want to stay up here for a bit."  
  
"We better," Wally says, rubbing at his eyes. "For fuck's sake the only reason we're safe here is because it can't get up here!"  
  
"Yeah," Uncle Barry says grimly, and Wally puts his face into his hands. Fucking _damnit!_

"Language," Uncle Barry says, and Wally just looks at him.  
  
"How did," he starts, and Uncle Barry chuckles.  
  
"I know you," he replies, and Wally rolls his eyes.  
  
"Whatever," he says, and then looks to his left because Dick's starting to wake up.  
  
His best friend blinks up at him before burying his face in the sheets.

"G'mornin’ Wally," he mumbles sleepily, and Wally runs a hand through his hair, humming.  
  
"Hi," he says, and Dick smiles at him. Dick's smiles aren't like Wally's or Uncle Barry's. They're sweet and always genuine, and Wally loves them because they're just so _Dick._  
  
(They're also proof that Dick isn't as broken as he thinks he is, isn't nearly as shattered as Wally, and sometimes it's such a relief that Wally almost dies.)  
  
"What're -" Dick yawns and stretches, and Wally _loves_ just awake Dick because he's just so - just so _vulnerable,_ unlike any other time, and Wally wishes that Dick could be like this more often, but it's a futile wish and he knows it. “What're you doing awake?"  
  
"I could ask the same for you," Wally laughs, and Dick gives him a glare.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Never."

They stare at each other for a few seconds, both unwilling to back down, before Dick's lips twitch up, and Wally throws his hands into the air in victory.  
  
"I win," he cheers, excruciatingly aware of Uncle Barry's amused look, and Dick rolls his eyes before poking him in the ribs.  
  
"Be quiet, Kid Idiot," he says, and Wally does no such thing, because he never has and never will, so he just says shut the fuck up.  
  
Barry, who has so far been ignoring them and their antics, gives Wally a sharp tap on the head and a stern look, and Wally wilts a bit.  
  
"Sorry," he says weakly, and Dick snorts a laugh, throwing his head back, and Wally starts laughing too because he'll be dead when he reaches the ground, and he might as well laugh with his best friend and uncle by his side.

 

\--

 

Zoom is _furious._ Barry, lovely lovely Barry who is it's favorite _stole Wally West from it._  
  
"Oh, no," Zoom says, staring at the night sky, and it's skin _prickles_ at the _gogogo_ it hears. "You honestly think you got away?"  
  
Zoom laughs and laughs until it's skin begins to fall to the ground, and it picks it up, grin widening and the dried, dead skin around it's mouth tightens painfully.  
  
Zoom rips apart the skin in it's hands, black blood getting under it's fingernails, and _laughs_ .  
  
Barry Allen and Wally West may be protected up in space, up there in it's shiny, fake Watchtower, but Zoom will find a way up there. It's only a matter of time.  
  
And time, well. Time is something it has in abundance.

 

\--

 

For once, Barry can relax. He can breathe, he can take the first tentative step towards peace, and he just hopes that it can be enough to let him get sleep. Ever since Wally was attacked, was almost _killed,_ Barry’s been on edge. He can’t let himself calm down, can’t burn off his nervous energy, can’t can’t _can’t -_

There are a lot of things that Barry can’t do, _couldn’t_ do. One of them is protect his nephew from the creature made from nightmares, made from the emptiness of space and a single movement. Another is manage to get rid of it’s body, even as it’s skin is decaying and it’s blood turns black and the air around it seems to fall apart.

There’s a reason why the Speedforce was never meant to have a body; it poisons the very world around it, kills it with vibrations and speed and _energy._ Energy that was never meant to be given the way it has been, never meant to be exposed so openly, so freely, and the earth is dying from Zoom.

There’s a _reason_ why the Speedforce lays on another plane of existence, and it isn’t because it isn't designed that way.

And Barry couldn’t bring himself to get rid of the corpse walking around with lightning snapping at it’s heels and death left in it’s wake. He couldn’t bring himself to get rid of a body because, god above, it looked human, and everything in Barry had rebelled against it. _You can’t kill another human,_ his mind had shrieked, and Barry had stopped himself before the fatal blow, before the bugging out eyes had widened and it started it’s cackling, and Barry had run away without a second thought, shaken by the way he had been _so close_ to doing it, to ending it.

He’s hated himself for that ever since; he should have done it, should have vibrated his hand into it’s chest and tore out it’s heart, should have slammed it’s head onto stone and destroyed the brain because maybe then -

Maybe then Zoom wouldn’t be waiting on Earth for him, and Wally could be at home making a sandwich.

Barry groans and turns on his heel sharply, pacing down another hallway, the other heroes going slowly around him. He’s probably just a blur to them.

“Stupid, stupid, _stupid,”_ Barry snarls to himself, and turns down another hallway, lightning crackling up his legs as his agitation grows. “I should’ve gotten there sooner, should have just killed it when I had the chance.”

“Killed who,” comes Bruce’s voice, and Barry whirls around, eyes wide and _gogogo_ thumping in his heart, right beside the _WallyWallyWally,_ and he gives a sigh, rubbing at his eyes with a trembling hand.

“Zoom,” he says tiredly, and watches as Bruce’s eyes widen just a bit, just enough of a giveaway to let Barry know that Bruce is rapidly refiling his threat level.

“Really,” Bruce says carefully, voice deliberately calm, and Barry leans against the wall, sliding down until he reaches cold metal and he’s sitting.

“Yeah. Say about that what you will, but it _hurt Wally,”_ Barry ends it on a snarl, and then he’s suddenly vibrating, worry about his nephew expanding until it’s a stone that sits heavy in his stomach, and Barry swallows past the lump in his throat. “Besides, it shouldn’t be here.”

“You keep on calling him an it,” Bruce notes, still deceptively serene, and Barry doesn’t really care about keeping secrets beyond the obvious.

“Yep,” Barry says, crossing his arms and popping the p. “Have you seen it? It’s a rotting corpse. The guy who was Eobard Thawne isn’t there anymore. Something else is in charge, and it’s so much more scary than a speedster.” Barry rubs his arm, shivering despite the fact that he’s always has a temperature of one hundred and one.

“I can think of several things that are scarier than a speedster,” Bruce says, and Barry laughs at his ignorance.

“There is little more scary than a speedster,” he says, hand over his mouth and shoulders jerking with the force of his laughter. “Even Clark can be brought down. Speedsters - eh, not so much.”

Bruce tenses, hands drifting towards his belt, and Barry waves him off. “Relax. Wally and I aren't going to hurt anyone, and the only speedster that would is focused on us.”

Bruce settles his hand on his belt. “But if we're with you, we're considered collateral damage.”

Barry's lips twitch down. “Unfortunately,” he admits. “Zoom only wants us alive so it can mess with us, and since I took Wally,” Barry laughs a little hysterically, running a hand through his hair and tugging at it anxiously. “Well, let's just say that Zoom won't be feeling so merciful.”

Bruce clenches his fist, and Barry can hear the way his uniform squeaks. “Is Zoom something we know of?”

Barry gives him a smile, one that's taped together with will alone, and says, “You've never known anything like Zoom before,” and vanishes because he's already revealed too much.

(Bruce stares after him, stares at the streak of red left behind, and sifts through the information he has on speedsters. It's frustratingly little, but Bruce has put cases together with less. He just needs to find the common denominator.

He's very good at doing that.)

 

\--

 

Wally West is confined to a hospital bed, and he is not happy about it.

“I can't stay in here all the time,” he whines as Dick shoves him back down on the veritable hill of pillows under him him.

“Yes, you can,” Dick replies, one hand on Wally's chest to keep him down as he pushes the button by Wally's head to call the doctor.

 _“Dick,”_ Wally spits, and his best friend grins, unrepentant as he chirps, “Yes, Wally dear?”

Wally groans, throwing one of the millions of pillows his uncle had given him at Dick, who dodges cleanly. “I hate when you do that.”

Dick laughs at him, the bastard, and throws himself into the seat beside Wally's bed, eyes sparkling with mischief. “And that's why I kept the name when I was old enough to know what it meant.”

Wally gives him a half hearted glare, exhaustion weighing down his arms so he can't flail at Dick, and tells him, “You're such an asshole.”

Dick snorts. “And that's why we're friends.”

Wally scoffs, finding the energy to cross his arms. “No, you wouldn't leave me alone,” he corrects as the doctor walks in.

“I don't remember it like that,” Dick calls as he's herded out of the room.

“Then you have faulty memory,” Wally shouts back, and he just really loves his best friend, because he sticks his tongue out a moment before the door closes.

 

\--

 

Barry is being followed.

It isn't much of a surprise considering what he said to Bruce, but he'd thought it would be better, at least. He sighs, stops, and turns around, placing his hands on his hips with the face he still gives Wally, and his shadow seems to wilt, stepping out from behind the corner, and -

Barry blinks. “Hal?”

Hal Jordan throws an arm around Barry's shoulders, blood on his stomach and lips and his arm bent wrong way. “Hey, Barry,” he says, blood bubbling as he speaks. “How's life?”

Barry blinks, feeling sick as Hal slumps against him. “I'm... I'm going to -”.

He can't finish the sentence, gently grabbing his friend before speeding off towards the medical center, because Hal is injured, and he might not be Wally, might not be the center of the entire universe, but he's _Hal_ more than anything, and Barry isn't sure of what he would do without him.

He doesn't want to find out, and he can practically hear Zoom's cackles, the way it would say, “You really think I'd leave you alone?”

Hal is a part of Barry; he holds precious memories in his hands, can make Barry snap and laugh and -

Barry just needs Hal to be okay, and when he finds himself at Wally's side, he collapses into his nephew's embrace, and prays, hopes, _whatever will work,_ that Hal will be okay.

“It'll be okay,” Wally says softly, rocking from side to side, and Barry twists his fingers in the back of Wally's shirt, his breathing uncertain and jerky, and Barry clenches his eyes shut, burying his face into Wally's shoulder.

He can't face the world today. He just - he just can't. Wally's been attacked and Hal’s been attacked, and Barry's had two breakdowns within the last three hours, and he just _can't._

Barry Allen is _tired._ He's ready to fall to the ground with his tattered mind in full display, and Wally's the only thing keeping him together.

Barry takes a deep breath, and tries to focus, Wally humming in his ear. “I,” he starts, and forgets what he was going to say.

“He'll be okay,” Wally says, unshakably definite, unquestionably defiant in the face of chance and fate, and Barry can't help but believe him.

Who else to believe but his family?

 

\--

 

Hal wakes up at noon, two days after Wally was attacked and he showed up, bloody and dying.

Barry almost crumbles to the floor in relief.

He brings Wally over to Hal in a chair and sits down on his friend's bed, only watching as Hal laughs and jokes with Wally, something easing in his chest, and Barry reaches out to gently brush a hand over Hal’s arm, Hal flinching away without noticing it.

Rage burns cold, Barry's discovered, if you get furious enough, and Barry doesn't feel it that often.

In the past week, he's experienced it four times, and right now there's ice and a unforgiving winter whirling around inside him in a wild, unrestrained blizzard, and it clamps a freezing collar around his throat.

“Hal,” Barry says, his voice frigid and almost cruel as he grabs Hal's sheets, knuckles white, “who hurt you.”

It's not a question, though Barry raises the end of his words like it is one. It's a demand, a statement, one that _requires_ an answer, and everyone knows it.  Barry rarely, if ever, uses this voice, this commanding, angry tone, but Barry has almost lost two of the most precious people in the world to him within the last five days, and Barry _needs_ to be able to get justice for at least one of them.

His feet shift, _gogogo_ starting to sing, and Barry waits for an answer. Wally looks at him anxiously, and Barry sends him a smile that he only gets when his get hurt, and Wally purses his lips as Hal opens his mouth and closes it.

 _“Hal,”_ Barry snarls, patience running short, and just barely stopping himself before it becomes a yell, but it's still harsh, still that of a leader, and Hal swallows, keeping his eyes trained on his lap.

Barry crosses his arms and knows that he looks much more intimidating than usual.

He stares, his gaze a contradiction to the bitter cold in his chest, and starts to tap his foot.

Hal breaks.

“It was Zoom,” he says quickly, as though rushing through the words will make them better, and Barry stills as his friend rambles on, his teeth grit. “As soon as I touched ground he was there, and he just starting beating the shit out of me. He was too fast and my ring was drained and he took it and threw it away and next thing I know I'm bleeding with broken ribs stabbing my lungs.”

Barry rolls back on his heels, glaring fiercely at the ceiling. “Did it say why,” he asks, the question quiet.

“He just kept on saying things like, Oh that Barry, hiding up in space like I can't reach you.”

Barry pales, arms shaking a bit as he shoves his fists into his jacket pockets, and Barry doesn't want to lash out at Hal, doesn't want to scare him, but his anger is a paradox in chest, is cold and hot and Barry feels like he can't breathe with it warring for dominance. He grabs the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on the floor and muscles tense.

Zoom went after Hal, didn't hold back, and the only reason he's alive is because it wanted to cause Barry agony and spark a desire for revenge. It succeeded, because the flimsy excuse of justice is weak and Barry knows it.

Barry raises his eyes to Wally's, and by the way his hands are curled into fists and his face is creased in worry, he knows that Wally knows it too.

“Barry?”

Barry snaps his attention over to Hal, who looks small and fragile and still, still so willful and powerful. Barry's heart _aches._ “Yeah,” Barry says softly, and Hal grimaces, shifting slightly.

“Is Zoom always like that,” he asks, and Barry hesitates.

He doesn't know what to say to that. Barry's always been cautious, been careful to keep the league out of Zoom's sight and interest, been deliberately not saying anything about Zoom, and because of his years of evasion.

Nobody but Wally and Barry know just how dangerous Zoom is, just how _ruthless_ it is, but now Hal has experienced it and Barry didn't even know.

He glances at Wally, indecision writhing in his chest, because Wally's been his final judge, his final vote in matters like this, and so far Wally hasn't been wrong yet.

Wally stares back, his green eyes narrowed in thought, before shaking his head.

 _No,_ he says, damning everyone to foolishness, and Barry inclines his head slightly before turning to Hal.

“Nope” Barry says cheerfully, and Hal raises his eyebrows.

“Really,” he says, voice flat, and he doesn't believe them. Barry closes his eyes sadly, leaning back, and let's Wally take the lead.

“Yeah,” Wally says, and Barry can hear the way his wheelchair squeaks as he leans forward. “You really think Uncle Barry would let me fight a guy like that?”

Barry wouldn't. He _wouldn't,_ but Zoom keeps on going after his nephew. It's inevitable, as unstoppable as the pull of gravity, and Barry had no choice but to let him, to teach him how to defend himself from Zoom, and at least this way he learns safely. Barry had learned by blood and broken bones.

Hal falls silent, and Barry risks opening his eyes a sliver. He looks thoughtful, like he's an ancient philosopher contemplating the world around him, and Barry doesn't dare taking a breath.

“He wouldn't,” Hal says, ultimately choosing innocence by ignorance, and Barry tries not to slump in relief.

Hal is safe, is unaware of the dagger blade claws and knife sharp teeth aimed at his throat, and Barry is determined to keep it that way.

He just wants Hal and Wally and everyone he cares about safe, and he will keep them in the dark if he has to, will do whatever it takes.

Never _ever_ doubt the lengths Barry will go.

He'll only stop at murder, and even then.

Whoever is threatening his loved ones won't think again.

“Uncle Barry?”

Barry raises his head, smiling tiredly at his nephew, _gogogo_ rushing in his ears and _WallyWallyWally_ echoing in his bones. “Yes?”

Wally reaches out to grab Barry's wrist, and Barry's heart leaps into his throat, one hand laying on Wally's, and the heat Wally gives grounds him, makes his head clear, let's him think _clearly,_ and Wally let's out a smile that shows just how _tired_ he is, and Barry abruptly remembers that his nephew is dying.

Barry's breathing stutters to a stop.

He can't lose Wally. He _can't._ Hal might hold part of him, but Wally holds his mind and heart, and Barry doesn't know what he would do without him.

He doesn't -

If Wally dies, then Barry follows.

 

\--

 

Uncle Barry is terrified, Wally knows, and he doesn't know what to do about it. Before, he would challenge him to a race, but now he can only say, “Hey, you hungry?”

He can't comfort, not in the way that he used to. He can't show that he's going to be fine, but -

But he can provide, even in the littlest way he can. So when Uncle Barry nods, Wally smiles gently, says, “Bye, Uncle Hal,” as he's rolled out of the room.

Uncle Barry's still shaking.

Wally grips his numb legs, and says, “Stop.”

Uncle Barry stops, and Wally turns to face him, holding out his arms for a hug.

His uncle seems to fold inwards, sweeping forward to pick him up and sag against a wall, sliding down until he's on the ground and curled around Wally, face buried in his hair,

“Wally,” he says, his voice wavering, and everything he wants to say but can't is in that one word.

Wally laughs. “I'm still here, you know. I'm not going anywhere.”

Uncle Barry's grip tenses. “You will, though.”

Wally blinks. “Well, yeah.” he says, as though it’s obvious, and it _is._ Everyone dies, and no matter how much he doesn’t want to leave his uncle alone to face Zoom, to face the world, he’s dying. There’s nothing he can do, nothing he can fight, and Wally has tried to accept that. He’s tried to accept that he’s going to leave, going to have his heart stop and leave his uncle and Dick and everyone behind.

He kinda hates it.

“But,” he continues when Uncle Barry makes a low noise of protest. “You’ll probably die before me since you’re a active superhero.”

And, again, it’s the truth. Uncle Barry is the axis Wally turns on, but he’s going to die before Wally. And -

And Wally refuses to think of what would happen to his mind after that. He doesn’t want to know, doesn’t want to think about what would happen to Wally after, just like he refuses to think of what would happen to Uncle Barry if Wally dies.

He knows it wouldn’t be nice, wouldn’t be pretty, would be _catastrophic_ because Wally is Uncle Barry’s anchor, his restraint, and Uncle Barry is the same for Wally. They’re each other’s balance, and -

And without Wally, Uncle Barry would have no reason to hold back.

And that’s what scares Wallace West, like nothing else but Zoom can, because Wally knows just how much harm a speedster can do when they really want to, or have no reason not to do everything they can do.

It’s frightening, to Wally, but what terrifies him is what would happen to Uncle Barry.

Uncle Barry starts to tremble, starts to sob, and Wally pulls him tighter. Out of both of them, Wally is better off. Uncle Barry is hanging by a thread, has his legs dangling off the precipice and he’s looking down into the pit and wondering if he should jump. Uncle Barry is ready to slip, to fall, to slide all the way down into the pit that laughs and sounds like Zoom, and the reason he hasn’t is Wally.

Frankly, Wally is almost the same. He’s steps away from joining his uncle at the edge of the cliff, and the only reason he hasn’t is, ironically, Uncle Barry.

He just hopes, prays to everything he knows of, that they’ll be okay one day, but it’s a useless wish.

That doesn’t mean he can’t try, doesn’t mean that he can’t trap his uncle in a hug and distract him from his ruined, ruined mind, doesn’t mean he can’t count to three and breathe and pretend the pretty colors that float around doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean he can’t act as though everything’s fine.

Doesn’t mean that he can’t live the way he has for years and behave normal in the desire that, one day, it won’t be a performance.

Wally simply holds his beloved uncle closer and lowers his head and pleads that everything will be okay.

(It won’t be.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flowery language, flowery language everywhere.
> 
> But BOOM this chapter is two hundred words MORE than the last one. I couldn't stop writing it!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You've never seen anything like Zoom before,_ Barry had said, had promised with a worrying manic glint in his eyes. 
> 
> "Never seen anything like Zoom before," Bruce murmurs. 
> 
> "Let's see what I have encountered." 
> 
> Barry and Wally are hiding something, are keeping something about Zoom a secret, and have been for years now, and Bruce doesn't know what it is. 
> 
> He's never liked not knowing things, not when information is the currency in the underworld. 
> 
> Looks like this is another thing he'll have to figure out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years! I finished this just in time for m side of the world!

Aunt Iris dies when Wally is ten, two months after Wally got his powers and after Uncle Barry revealed the fact that he's the Flash. Two months of hiding that sometimes he has panic attacks when he goes too fast, two months of Uncle Barry hugging him close and telling him _everything is okay, I promise, you aren't there anymore._   
  
Two months after Wally got back from the Speedforce with his sanity not all intact and two months of him gradually getting used to his powers and the normality that comes with living.   
  
Two months and Aunt Iris dies.   
  
It starts like a typical day for one Wally West. He wakes up from a nightmare of just _running,_ running with no end and a laughter that makes his skin crawl and soothing words that mean nothing with a silent scream. He calls Uncle Barry using the phone he had given him when he had woken up from his coma and listens as Uncle Barry calmly tells him that _you're ten years old, you live in Blue Valley, your name is Wallace Rudolph West, you have an aunt named Iris..._   
  
Ten minutes of listening to only that as his panic fades and Wally sniffs, wipes away his tears, and goes downstairs to see if Mom is up yet. She isn't - she never is; Wally wakes up at six with tears and madness running in his veins - so he makes himself a bowl of cereal that's normal for his age but not what his body requires. But that's okay because Uncle Barry will pick him up soon.   
  
Dad comes stumbling down at seven, grumbling about coffee, and he pats Wally's head absently as he heads towards the coffee machine. Wally leans into it; Mom and Dad are distant and tend to discourage Wally's passions at times, and the change from Uncle Barry and Aunt Iris' tactileness is always a shock. Wally waits for seven thirty with his backpack for Uncle Barry, because his uncle is forever ten minutes late.   
  
Wally calls a goodbye to his dad and his mom as she rubs at her eyes on the stairs, and then he's off in his uncle's car as he takes him to school after taking him to Burger King and ordering enough food to tide him over until lunch with the nutrient bars Uncle Barry gets from the League.   
  
It's an ordinary day for one Wally West.   
  
It isn't until noon that it changes.

  
  
\--

  
  
Barry smiles fondly as Wally waves at him, calling out a, "Bye, Uncle Barry," as he drives away.   
  
Wally's a good kid. Barry just - he just wishes that he didn't have to go through what he did.   
  
Barry parks on the side of the road, leaning forward until his forehead is on the wheel, frowning and sweating as his hair rises and _gogogo_ sing. Zoom is. Zoom is out there and Wally is vulnerable, and Barry wants to go back to Wally's school and pull him out so he can protect him, can pull him into his arms and tell himself that Zoom isn't going to get him, isn't going to get his precious nephew. Even before Wally became a speedster, he was Barry's lightning rod, his compass. Barry loves Iris, and she is his anchor, but Wally -   
  
Wally is someone that Barry revolves around.   
  
Barry sighs and clenches his eyes shut, telling himself that Wally is _fine_ and Iris is _fine_ and everything is _fine_ . Nevermind the fact that he feels like he's drowning  in worry and anger and visions of just what Zoom will do to his nephew if it catches him.   
  
Zoom has a grudge against all speedsters. Barry wants to make sure that it won't get Wally, that little boy who wakes up from nightmares sobbing and calls him at five in the morning, hysterical and afraid. Wally's been through enough.   
  
Barry shifts his car into drive and heads to Central City, biting his lip and vibrating with nervous energy.   
  
Something is going to happen today. He can _feel_ it. He just hopes that it doesn't involve his family.   
  
With that prayer in mind, Barry goes into work.   
  
Only to get called out for a mission barely thirty minutes later. Barry grins sheepishly and tells them _oh Wally's sick, I need to go pick him up, I'm really sorry, I am, I'll do it-_   
  
Barry's boss laughs his deep belly laugh and waves him off with a smile, saying, "I have two kids of my own, Allen, and with the way you talk about that nephew of yours, he might as well be your kid!"   
  
Barry turns red and sputters out, "No, no, I'm only his uncle, he's not mine!"   
  
His boss smirks. "And who is it that you've been rambling about for the past year and a half without pause?"   
  
Barry opens his mouth, thinks on it, and closes it with a embarrassed smile on his face. "Wally," he replies weakly, and he gets laughed out of the office.   
  
He has to spend five minutes reassuring himself that yes, Wally is _okay,_ there is _no need_ to run by Blue Valley to check on him -   
  
He ends up running by Wally's school just to check before answering his comm. "Flash in, what do you need?   
  
Diana grunts in his ear and by the sounds of crashing is throwing something. "Backup," she says, unruffled by the swears in the background. "Sea monster with twenty legs and sharp teeth. Batman is ETA five minutes and Aquaman will be here sooner."   
  
"Okay," Barry says, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Where are you?"   
  
"Florida," she says without pause, and he can practically _see_ her grin as he groans and starts running.   
  
"Why is it always Florida for sea monsters," he complains, and she laughs even as she shouts out a warning.   
  
"Because the gods hate us," she says cheerfully, and Barry's throat closes up as he thinks of the _thing_ that's as close as a god he's ever going to get.   
  
"Yeah," he says, voice strangled. "They really are."   
  
Diana goes silent. "Barry," she asks cautiously. "Are you alright?"   
  
Barry blinks and slams into the monster at around six thousand miles per hour. His ribs do not like the treatment, but they're knitting together even as the monster roars in a way that hurts his ears. "Yeah," he replies, not sure where this is going.   
  
"You seemed...off," Diana says as she hurls a car at the monster.   
  
Barry huffs, zipping over to her side. "I was talking about how shitty our lives are," he says, and it's a lie but it has a kernel of truth to it, at least. Diana narrows her eyes at him, and Barry grins, too wide, too big, and mentally swears at himself for it because she only narrows her eyes further.   
  
His stance changes and then he's gone in a streak of red.   
  
He's not supposed to let the others know of his mental state. They'd try to get him off the roster for heroes and learn what caused him to be this way, and -   
  
And then Zoom will go after them.   
  
Barry swallows at that. He hasn't even told Iris he's Flash for fear of Zoom going after her, even though it's a futile thing.   
  
"Batman," Diana shouts, and Barry jerks himself from his thoughts that circle around and around so he can smile.   
  
"Hey," he offers, and Bruce grunts at him as Arthur emerges from the water. "So, we ready to take this sucker down? I have the rest of the day off since I said that Wally was sick, but I'd prefer to get it done quickly."   
  
Arthur nods gravely and Bruce scowls. Diana looks thoughtful.   
  
"Arthur," she says slowly. "Couldn't you take him down easily enough?"   
  
Arthur grunts. "Yes, but only if it's distracted."   
  
"Which is where I come in," Barry interjects, and races off to do just that. He _really_ needs to learn how to not get anxious when he says stuff like that about Wally.   
  
Bruce and Diana come up swinging behind him, Diana with her fists and Bruce with his grappling hook. Barry pays them no mind; they've fought enough battles together that they're able to move in sync, so he can trust them with guarding his back.   
  
Arthur climbs up it's back as they beat it up, and then with a yell slams his fists down on its neck. It goes limp, but Barry can see the glassy eyes.   
  
He's learned how to recognize them over the years.   
  
A scream, and Barry whips around, only to see yet _another_ sea monster. He groans, darts forward, grabs the civilian and puts them away from the action before he's back at Bruce's side.   
  
"Okay," he starts testily, "what the heck."   
  
Diana sighs. "It appears," she says without amusement, "that we have someone _summoning_ these monsters.   
  
Barry locks his jaw, pushes down the insistent _something is happening, Zoom is doing_ **_something,_ ** and rushes forward, teeth bared and his feet not singing but something close enough to it, and his mind isn't on display but he's smiling smiling smiling, and it's. It's.   
  
Barry wishes he could know.   
  
Arthur groans and shoulders his trident with Diana heaving a sign, and they both go towards the sea monster as Bruce disappears to find the summoner.   
  
The fight doesn't take long, and the city tower bongs once, twice, twelve times, and Barry stops dead as another sea monster climbs out of the ocean.   
  
Something is _wrong._   
  
"Barry," Bruce barks in his ear, and Barry doesn't dare breath, eyes locked on the warning crackle of electricity and blow up of concrete five miles away.   
  
_Oh no,_ Barry thinks hysterically, and he's still frozen in place, still can't move, can't even speak beyond a strained whimper as overwhelming terror rushes in his ears.   
  
Then it turns. It turns and heads inland, heads towards the midwest, where Wally and Iris are, and Barry's heart leaps into his throat. Wally. Iris.   
  
If Zoom is after them -   
  
He finds his feet, finds his speed, and turns into a blur, leaving his teammates and Bruce's shouting behind him.

 

\--

 

Iris hums contently as she edits for story, taking a sip of her soda from the vending machine. Barry had sent her a text this morning, telling her that Wally was sick and that he was going to pick him up so his parents didn't have to, and, like always, Iris _loves_ the lengths her husband is willing to go for her nephew. It tells her that, one day, he'll be a fantastic father.   
  
Iris presses a hand against her stomach, imaging the kicks her future child might make, and smiles. _One day,_ she thinks giddily. _One day._   
  
Iris has always wanted kids   
  
"Hey, Iris," someone calls, and Iris snaps out of her daydream to see her friend Stacy leaning over her desk.   
  
"Yeah," Iris asks, saving her progress on her computer and grinning wide when she sees the picture of Barry and Wally laughing at Wally's failed attempt to cook. "What's up?"   
  
Stacy shoots her a smirk that has Iris shaking her head. "Want to go out to eat, _Mrs. West?"_   
  
Iris snorts and shuts off her computer, standing and grabbing her purse. "Sure. But I'm not paying. You have no idea how much food Barry and Wally manage to pack away."   
  
Stacy widens her eyes mockingly as they walk out the front door. "No? But who ate five plates of food and was still hungry at the workplace barbeque?"   
  
Iris shakes her head, exasperated already with the mention of just how much her husband had eaten that day. "Barry."   
  
"Exactly," Stacy says, and her heels click as she steps onto the sidewalk and unlock her car.   
  
Iris pulls her hair back and grins. "Shut up," she laughs, swatting at her friend's arm. "Where are we going anyway?"   
  
Stacy opens her mouth to answer, but there's the high pitched scream of wind and snap of electricity and then Iris' world becomes blurred colors.   
  
"Um," she asks hesitantly, looking up. "Flash? What are...you doing..."   
  
What she sees isn't Flash. She isn't even sure if it's human, because the way it's eyes light up like a lightning storm and the way it laughs makes her heart stop and her hands shake.   
  
_"Hello, Iris West,"_ Professor Zoom croons, his voice shaking and otherworldly. _"We're going to have so much fun."_

 

\--

 

Barry knows Wally isn't in danger at the moment. He doesn't know how, but he isn't. It's something that's instinct, like a reflex, and he knows that Wally is not in danger.  
  
But he doesn't have that same assurance for Iris, so his feet take him to Central City, and that's when he  knows that Zoom is here. The streets are torn up and windows are shattered and Barry's heartbeat jumps into double time.   
  
_What if I'm too late,_ he thinks as he runs to Iris' work, and what he sees only makes his fear grow even stronger.   
  
Stacy is there, staring wide eyed at nothing, and Barry slams into a stop beside her.   
  
"Who did he take," he demands, eyes wide as he shakes her by the shoulders, and she just whispers out a name.   
  
She whispers Iris, and Barry tears off in the direction the destruction goes, hoping to anything that his wife is alive.   
  
_She might be,_ he tells himself as he takes a sharp right. _Zoom likes to torment me. It probably just wants to make it worse for me when she dies._   
  
It isn't nearly as encouraging as he wants it to be, because that means it could be doing anything to Iris.   
  
Barry ups his speed and windows shatter in his wake.

  
\-- 

 

"Oh, Iris, Iris, Iris," Zoom says, laughing at nothing and everything, and Iris watches him in terror, shaking in her ropes. "You really have no idea why you're here, do you?"  
  
Iris swallows and croaks out, "No."   
  
Zoom's suddenly in her face, his grin too wide and too twitchy, and Iris can't breath. "Oh, what an ignorant fool your husband can be," he cackles, insanity coloring every word, and Iris clenches her fist.   
  
"What does my husband, a _CSI for the police,_ have to do with any of this," she asks, strong in the face of her confusion and defense of her husband.   
  
Zoom twirls away on the heel of his foot, snorting with laughter. "You truly, truly don't know. What a fool Barry Allen is! Letting little Wally know what let him have his powers, letting him go into me. What a fool he is."   
  
Wally. Iris shuts her eyes. Zoom did something to Wally, did something to her nephew, did something to her _husband -_   
  
"What did you do to Wally? What do you mean inside you," she says, and Zoom laughs and laughs as he throws his arms wide. Iris has heard of the Joker in Gotham, of his insanity and danger, and thinks now that they've clearly never met Zoom. Joker can't stand a chance.   
  
"I just gave him what he wanted," he cackles. "Too bad he didn't read the fine print. Or," he gasps, "your husband didn't tell him what happens to those who ask for speed!"   
  
This isn't getting her anywhere. Iris wiggles her fingers slightly, surprised to find her hands able to slip out of the rope. "You didn't answer my question," she points out. "What do you mean by going inside you?"   
  
Zoom bounces on his feet, grin like a demented puppy. "I'll tell you," he says, and Iris smiles slightly. "Barry Allen is -"   
  
The doors to the barn bang open, and the Flash stands there, chest heaving. "Zoom," he roars, blue eyes blazing, and Iris breathes a sigh of relief, tilting her head back against the wood. Flash is here. Everything will be okay.   
  
"Hello, _Barry,"_ Zoom says, delighted, and Iris snaps her head up.   
  
Barry. Barry Allen.   
  
"Barry," she says like she does at home, and her husband - and how weird is that, for her dorky husband to be the Flash - doesn't look at her.   
  
"Zoom," he growls. "Let her go."   
  
Zoom rolls his eyes. "Would you rather me go after Wally instead," he asks, and Barry flinches, hand flying up to clutch at his heart.   
  
"Oh yes," Zoom says, and the angle of his grin is horrifying. "Don't think I don't know. His name is right beside the urge to go, isn't it? You can't live without him?"   
  
Barry takes a step back, agony twisting his features at the thought of living without Wally. "Don't you dare," he snarls, and Iris has never seen her husband like this before; full of rage and deadly promise, and it scares her a bit "Don't you dare touch him."   
  
Zoom grins wildly. "But could you stop me?"   
  
"I can damn sure make sure you won't be able to touch him," Barry counters, and Iris is frozen by the way he laughs. It's full of madness and fury in equal measure, and Iris stares. She stares and stares and wonders, a little bleakly, if she ever really knew him.   
  
Zoom smiles, small and it stops Iris' heart. "Him? But what about her?" Then Iris is tugged to her feet and a vibrating hand is in front of her heart, and Barry bares his teeth.   
  
"Don't do it," he says, desperate and angry, and Iris closes her eyes.   
  
"Barry," she says quietly, and then there's agonizing pain.   
  
She doesn't see Barry shoot forward, but she can hear his scream. She never thought that she would be conscious after having her heart torn out, but she is. The pain make her ears ring as she's lifted into Barry's arms, and she opens her eyes. He's begging her not to die, tears slipping down his cheeks as Zoom laughs, and Iris grins, bloody and vengeful as she pulls Barry down.   
  
"Give him hell, okay," she breathes, and Barry only clutches her tighter. "Take care of Wally, too."   
  
Barry nods, and with a whoosh of air Zoom's gone. Barry doesn't leave her side, and Iris West-Allen dies with her husband holding her close.   
  
She dies thinking that, maybe, she's fine with the way her husband is, insanity and all.   


\--

 

Barry can't hear much beyond Iris's final words that echo in his ears.  
  
_Take care of Wally, too,_ Iris had said, eyes unfocused and breathing labored, and Barry could only nod   
  
Iris had taken four minutes to die, and for three of them Zoom had laughed and taunted Barry. For the first two, Iris has screamed. For the last one, she hadn't done anything but gasp for air.   
  
_Give him hell, okay? Take care of Wally, too,_ Iris had said with a terrible grin and blood on her pretty white jacket she had bought last fall, and Barry bites down a sob.   
  
Zoom's gone. He's gone and Barry knows it isn't after Wally because it got what it wanted. Barry's devastated and his mind cracks more more _more_ and it's only the thought of Wally that keeps him from shattering.   
  
"...ry." Barry blinks and wipes at his eyes. Blood gets on his forehead. "Bar..."   
  
Barry holds Iris closer. He couldn't protect her in life, but -   
  
But maybe he could in death, and that just makes his heart break even more.   
  
"Barry!"   
  
Barry snaps out of his trance and reaches up to clumsily answer his comm link.   
  
"Yeah," he says, voice rough and choked on tears, and Hal's voice answers him.   
  
"Barry," he says, relieved and angry all at once, and Barry doesn't understand how he could be relieved when Barry couldn't keep his wife safe.   
  
"Hal," he says, quiet and defeated, and Hal stops short.   
  
'What happened."   
  
Hal doesn't say it like it's a question, though it's phrased like one.   
  
Barry laughs wearily. "Iris is dead."   
  
"Shit," Hal swears, and Barry sighs heavily, forcing back the screams that want to erupt from his throat, because _what else do you want from me, please, I’m_ **_done._ **   
  
"Can - can you come get her? I need to get Wally, I need to see if he's okay, I need -"   
  
Barry can't finish, but Hal seems to understand anyways.   
  
"Yeah," he says, impossibly gentle, and Barry lets Iris go, sets her on the floor as slow as he can and pulls his knees to his chest, lowing his head. If he can't see the world, then he'll be okay.   
  
It's not true, but he likes to pretend it is.   
  
Barry doesn't know how long he sits there, covered in his wife's blood with Iris one foot away. His sense of time runs wild, so it could be twenty minutes or a year before Hal arrives.   
  
Soft green light washes over the barn, and Barry doesn't look up as Hal lands softly beside him. "Barry?" 

Barry pushes himself to his feet, that terrible _gogogo_ making his veins itch and his feet restless, and Barry wants to run until he can't think, run until he's nothing but stardust and the wind.   
  
So he does just that. He's disappears and runs and runs and through it all he cries.   
  
He stops only so that he can get Wally, stops only so that Wally will still have his uncle.   
  
He isn't sure if he does anyway.

 

\--

 

Wally's in lunch when he gets called to the office. He blinks up at the ceiling, nutrient bar hanging from his mouth, and his table mates _oh Wally's in trouble!_   
  
Wally rolls his eyes at them, finishes the nutrient bar, opens another, and gathers his things. He doubts it's because he's in trouble, if anything it's the exact opposite. He's not the type of kid to be called to the office.   
  
"Laugh it up," he calls over his shoulder. "But what's your grades in science?"   
  
That shuts them up, and Wally grins smugly, wrapping his hands around the straps of his backpack and hiking it up further. He's learning eleventh grade science in his free time and they can barely understand that Pluto is a dwarf planet.   
  
He snorts at the thought of them understanding chemistry, let alone physics.   
  
Or even understanding what gave Flash his powers.   
  
His smile fades a bit at that thought because he knows _exactly_ what gives Uncle Barry his powers, and it's terrifying.   
  
Wally shakes himself, a full body shudder, and walks to the office. He peeks through the windows to see if there's anyone he knows is in to pick him up because sometimes Mom forgets to tell him that he has an appointment.   
  
He sees Uncle Barry instead, and grins. He must have something special for them today. He _never_ picks him up if he can't help it. He says education is important and Wally happens to agree. But if he's picking him up for no reason? _That's_ exciting.   
  
Wally bursts into the office, already babbling. "Hey, Uncle Barry, what are we doing today, why are you picking me up -"   
  
Wally goes silent as he takes in the smell of copper and the dried tears on his uncle's face. "What... what's going on?"   
  
Uncle Barry only picks him up and holds him close, burying his face in Wally's hair and breathing in a way that means he's trying not to cry.   
  
Wally frowns but hugs back, patting his uncle's hair soothingly. "What happened?"   
  
"Iris,” Uncle Barry starts, and all at once Wally understands.   
  
"Zoom," he whispers, and Uncle Barry tightens his grip.   
  
"Yep."   
  
Wally blinks and feels his eyes sting with tears. He knows what Zoom is. There's no way that Aunt Iris is alive.   
  
Uncle Barry places him on his hip, nevermind the fact that Wally is ten and too big, because Wally is breaking down, sobbing into his uncle's neck, and signs them out before they're a blur and Wally doesn't want to ever stop moving.   
  
He wants to outrun the grief.

  
  
\--

  
  
"Wally?"   
  
Wally twitches and smiles as Uncle Barry gives him a small nudge on the shoulder. "Yeah," he asks, wrapping his hands around his useless legs.   
  
"You were spacing out," his uncle laughs as he holds out a sandwich, and it's a tiny thing, trembling and much too true for the outside world, but here, with Wally, it's nothing less than perfect.   
  
So Wally gives him a real smile, the kind that he only gives Uncle Barry, and accepts the food. "I was just thinking," he says, and Uncle Barry nods, sitting down in front of him and biting into his sandwich.   
  
Wally closes his eyes and thinks on Aunt Iris' smile and her laugh. They've faded with time, but that's okay. It's been almost a decade since she died, since Zoom killed her, and it doesn't hurt any less, but -   
  
But Wally knows that she's okay, wherever she is, and she's waiting for them, laughing at their antics.   
  
Uncle Barry's hand wraps around his wrist and gives it a squeeze, and Wally opens his eyes to give his uncle a smile.   
  
"I'm fine," he says, and his uncle nods his head.   
  
He doesn't let go, but that's okay, too. Wally gets stuck in his memories, sometimes, and Uncle Barry keeps him grounded to the present. Wally relaxes slightly and uses his other hand to eat.   
  
Zoom is down on Earth, furious and with no one to direct it towards, Uncle Hal is in a hospital bed, and Wally is dying.   
  
So Wally simply eats his food and tries to get five minutes of peace.

 

\--

 

Bruce stands in front of the computer, eyes narrowed, and sorts through all of the information he has on Zoom.  
  
There's not a lot.   
  
_Dangerous. Has speedster powers and killed Joker with little effort. Frightens Flash and Kid Flash. Avoid if possible,_ says the screen, and it doesn't say anything else.   
  
Bruce hums and thinks back on the conversation he had with Barry.   
  
_You've never seen anything like Zoom before,_ Barry had said, had promised with a worrying manic glint in his eyes.   
  
"Never seen anything like Zoom before," Bruce murmurs.   
  
"Let's see what I have encountered."   
  
Barry and Wally are hiding something, are keeping something about Zoom a secret, and have been for years now, and Bruce doesn't know what it is.   
  
He's never liked not knowing things, not when information is the currency in the underworld.   
  
Looks like this is another thing he'll have to figure out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there. are y'all done asking about Iris?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shut up, Uncle Barry," Wally says, and Barry only grins wider.
> 
> "I didn't say anything," he laughs, and Wally throws a fry at him. He catches it in his mouth and his nephew briefly looks impressed before frowning playfully at him.
> 
> "You were thinking it," he mutters darkly, and Barry can't deny that, mainly because he was, and leans forward to steal two more fries in retaliation.
> 
> Wally squawks in offense, batting Barry's hand away when it darts in a second time, and Barry laughs at the way he hunches over his food protectively. His nephew is adorable, no matter the age.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hi, yes, I am back. I am on a roll this week, I swear. First I update cosmos then post something new and now I finish this.
> 
> Woohoo! Go me!

Nothing. There is  _ nothing _ on speedsters beyond their general abilities. Nothing about how dangerous they truly are, nothing about how their minds are clearly unstable,  _ nothing. _   
  
And that bothers Bruce. It bothers him a lot, in fact, because in his years as Batman, and as a father, he's learned that secrets tend to blow up in one's face. The fact that there is so little information about the speedsters and Zoom is disconcerting and Bruce doesn't like it.   
  
He glares at the pitifully small list on the screen before shutting it off, turning around on his heel and marching off to the infirmary with a disgusted growl. He needs more information, and the best way to get it is to observe.   
  
Wallace West is eighteen years old, paralyzed, and lives with slightly neglectful parents. His aunt died when he was ten, and he got his powers the same year. He has expressed fear of Zoom and little else. He cannot go as fast as Barry, nor can he vibrate through objects because he stops midway through after getting nervous. He was working on this before he lost the use of his legs.   
  
Bruce huffs and goes faster.   
  
Barry Allen got his powers by accident, unlike Wally, and is considered one of, if not  _ the _ fasted man alive. He is thirty eight, lost his wife, Iris, to Zoom eight years ago. He has displayed codependency towards Wally, mental illness, and fear towards Zoom.   
  
That's all the information Bruce has, summarized.   
  
It itches at him, like a scab, and he  _ hates _ that he knows so little about his teammates. He's known Barry for years now and yet he knows so little. He didn't even know that Barry is mentally unstable until this week, and he only knows because Barry let down his mask enough to show it.   
  
Bruce scowls, punches in the code to the infirmary, and stops dead when he doesn't see the speedsters. Instead, he sees Hal, who was attacked by Zoom after Barry and Wally came up here.   
  
"Hal," Bruce says, voice grim, and Hal raises an arm in greeting.   
  
"Bats," he replies, a grimace on his face from the pain. "What're you doing here?"   
  
"Where is Barry and Wally?" Bruce doesn't bother with the niceties Alfred has always told him to do, and Hal frowns.   
  
"Why," he asks, and Bruce almost groans.   
  
"Because it involves Zoom," he grits out, and Hal's face changes from lazily curious to serious in an instant.   
  
"That fucker," he snorts, eyes rolling up the stare at the ceiling, "is tough."   
  
"I'm aware," Bruce says tightly, and Hal looks at him, the line of his mouth stubborn.   
  
"No, I don't think you do," Hal muses. "He's fast. Really fast, and he doesn't pull his punches like Barry and Wally. He  _ knows my identity," _ Hal turns wild eyes onto Bruce, and Bruce straightens his back even more, because if that's true, then it's likely to mean that he knows  _ all _ of the League's names. "He doesn't stop no matter how you hurt him and he's  _ insane." _   
  
"Funny how all speedsters are like that," Bruce says wryly, and Hal starts, head snapping over from where it's wandered as he talked.   
  
"Who, Barry? No, they're not insane. Zoom is. They're just trying to survive."   
  
"Looks can be deceiving," Bruce says neutrally, mind already making connections. Whatever made Barry and Wally so mentally unstable has something to do with Zoom. He is the person with the highest probability of causing it, as both Barry and Wally were sane before they became speedsters.   
  
"Maybe." Hal shrugs. "But we've known them for years now. Don't you think that we would know?"   
  
_ I would, _ Bruce thinks, and scowls. "So where are they," he says instead, and Hal sighs at him as though he's an idiot.   
  
"Where would you find a speedster," he asks, deadpan, and Bruce sighs at his own stupidity.   
  
"Cafeteria," he says, and Hal nods.   
  
"Off you go then," he teases, and Bruce has to stop himself from yelling at him.   
  
_ Injured, _ he reminds himself,  _ that is an injured man. _   
  
"Don't tell me what to do, Jordan," Bruce growls, but turns around regardless, leaving the irritant to his boredom.   
  
"To the cafeteria," he mumbles, and sets off. He doesn't get far before a black blur goes past him, and with it is a imprint of red.   
  
_ Wally, _ he thinks immediately, and Barry's enraged roar cements it.   
  
_ "Wally!" _   


  
\--

  
  
Barry watches with amusement as Wally scarfs down another burger, grinning slightly as Wally gives him a dirty look.   
  
"Shut up, Uncle Barry," Wally says, and Barry only grins wider.   
  
"I didn't say anything," he laughs, and Wally throws a fry at him. He catches it in his mouth and his nephew briefly looks impressed before frowning playfully at him.   
  
"You were thinking it," he mutters darkly, and Barry can't deny that, mainly because he was, and leans forward to steal two more fries in retaliation.   
  
Wally squawks in offense, batting Barry's hand away when it darts in a second time, and Barry laughs at the way he hunches over his food protectively. His nephew is adorable, no matter the age.   
  
"Oh, come on," Barry whines, letting his hair flop over his eyes and slouching. He can see Wally wavering, knows that he's going to give in soon -   
  
A crackle of electricity.   
  
They both stop dead,  _ gogogo _ crawling up their legs and mind attuned to the slimy, dark feeling they get when Zoom shows up, listens for that cackle.   
  
"Wally," Barry breathes, eyes darting towards his nephew, and Wally shakes his head in answer. They don't know how Zoom got here.   
  
_ "Spe _ **_eds_ ** _ ters," _ rasps a voice, and they both jump, air catching in their throats.   
  
They both look around for any sign of distress, because they  _ can't _ be the only ones who heard that.   
  
_ "Speedsters,"  _ breathes it again, and Barry leaps to his feet, eyes wide and stance ready to grab his nephew and run, damn the fact that they're in space and have limited space. It would be better than  _ staying _ here.   
  
Black in the corner of his eye. Barry whips to the right, a snarl on his lips, only to stop short when nothing is there. Diana walks past him, frozen in time as she speaks, and Barry whirls around to check on his nephew.   
  
Somewhere, a clock strikes twelve.   
  
_ Dong...Dong...Dong... _   
  
Barry stares and very carefully doesn't move. A black corpse has Wally in its grasp, its grin horrifying.   
  
"Wally," he whispers, terrified, and Wally stares back, knuckles white on the black hands on his throat, his lips trembling with fear and rage in equal measure.   
  
"Let him go," Barry says as calm as he can,  _ WallyWallyWally _ a brand on his heart. His nephew is all he has, and he knows this energy, knows this grin. "Zoom."   
  
Zoom laughs at him, the sound a thousand mothers screaming over the loss of their child. "It's Black Flash," it corrects, and Barry can count each and every one of its teeth. "And I'm afraid that Wallace West has a date with the Speedforce."   
  
Wally opens his mouth, breathing harsh in his beginning panic. "Uncle Barry," he says softly, face pale. "I don't want to go back there."   
  
"I know," Barry says shakily, legs trembling, "and you won't." Black Flash cackles at them. It's the screech of nails on a chalkboard.   
  
"I don't think so," it chids, and within a millisecond it has Wally in its arms as though he's a bride, and Barry strangles the fury that rises at the sight of it.   
  
"Wally," he says firmly, and Wally looks over at him, and he's terrified; it's in the angle of his mouth, the way his eyes are creased at the ends. "You're going to be okay."   
  
Black Flash rolls its bulging eyes at them both before it's gone, Wally's scream the only clue of his terror.   
  
Barry takes a deep breathe and runs after them, shouting his nephew's name as time around him turns to normal. He can see the red of Wally's hair, can see the way he's fighting the best he can, and Barry grins something vicious. He trained him to fight, to never take anything lying down, and Wally has forever lived that by the letter; it makes pride swell in his chest that he's doing it even now.   
  
They leave scorch marks on the spotless metal under them, and they pass Bruce without blinking as Barry chases them around the Watchtower.   
  
It could've last a minute, it could've lasted a second, it could've taken an hour - Barry doesn't know, but what he  _ does _ know is that poison leaking into the air from a point in the control room.   
  
Black Flash heads there, and Barry follows, hoping,  _ praying, _ to save his nephew before it gets to that point.   
  
He was too late for Iris. He  _ can't _ be late for Wally.   
  
He's a second too slow. One second more, if he was  _ faster _ by a tiny margin, then Wally would be safe.   
  
But he wasn't, and the last thing he hears is Wally's shriek of  _ Uncle Barry! _   
  
The last thing he sees is Black Flashe's grin, and Barry slams into the controls with a shout.   
  
"No, no, no, no, no," he says, over and over and over, and curls up covering his ears and closing his eyes.   
  
Wally is back in the Speedforce, Wally is gone, Barry was too slow  _ again, _ what use is speed if he can't save the ones he love, he can't, he can't, he  _ can't- _   
  
Someone touches him on the shoulder, but it isn't  _ Wally, _ isn't his nephew because Wally is gone, gone gone gone, he was taken away by a corpse of black, and Barry hunches over even more, wanting to scream and pounding his fists against his head.   
  
The screaming in his head won't stop, the echo of Wally's last two words won't stop, the laughter of Zoom won't stop, the  _ gogogo _ won't stop, he wants it to  _ stop - _   
  
Barry screams, ramming a fist into the metal, and breaks down into sobs, and he can't stop saying, "Wally, Wally,  _ Wally." _   
  
His nephew is gone and he can't get him back, and it stabs a dagger into his heart, it makes his lungs lose all air, and he can't stop  _ screaming. _   
  
It's finally happened. He's broken, he's fallen off the cliff. Everything is upside down and wrong and it  _ hurts, _ oh god it hurts.   
  
Wally is gone.   
  
"Barry, it's going to be okay," someone tells him, soothing and calm, and Barry laughs hysterically, and this time he doesn't stop it. He laughs through his tears and when he isn't screaming, because  _ how can it be okay when Wally is gone? _   
  
Wally would lay a hand on his shoulder and pull him into a hug and give him one of his tired smiles, and he would  _ understand, _ but Wally is gone, his compass, his axis, his restraint; Wally is  _ gone. _   
  
Barry doesn't think he can pull himself back together after this. Not with the way he's shattered into a million pieces, not with the way he can't stop crying and laughing and screaming.   
  
Not with Wally gone.   
  
Barry rips at his hair and laughs and laughs and thinks that being insane is truly, truly wonderful.

  
  
\--

 

Bruce stands back and merely watches as Barry loses it. Diana's trying to calm him down,  _ Clark _ is trying to make him stop slamming his fists into the sides of his head, and Bruce watches.   
  
Barry finally broke. He broke and now they're down on all of speedsters and Bruce doesn't know how to get Wally back. He doesn't even know what happened to him, not really, because by the time they got here Barry was hunched over, tortured screams coming from deep inside him with claws, and the mantra of  _ Wally Wally Wally _ is heartbreaking.   
  
Wallace West is gone and Barry Allen broke into a thousand pieces without him.   
  
Bruce stirs, marching forward and kneeling down beside his teammate, making him look him in the eyes. "Where is Wally," he asks, carefully pronouncing each word, and Barry's already broken smile shatters even more.   
  
"Speedforce," he whispers, and his voice is trembling. "He's in the Speedforce and it won't ever let him go."   
  
"What is the Speedforce," Bruce says, intent, and Barry laughs at him, the sound making everyone flinch.   
  
"Where we get our powers. It's the result of the first vibration of the first molecule and it has Wally." Barry looks wild, his teeth bared and cheeks red. "You want to know why we're insane? It's because of  _ that." _   
  
Bruce frowns. "Can we go into it?"   
  
Barry breaks into even more laughter, and, chillingly, it reminds Bruce of the Joker. "You can't. It has to choose  _ you _ and you go into a coma. It makes you go in circles and circles and you run and run and run for eternity and when you wake up the puzzle pieces are burnt and shredded and it laughs and laughs in your ear as you run and run and run  _ again." _   
  
Barry barks out a laugh, curling in on himself. "Wally's back in there and I  _ promised _ that he wouldn't," he says, hysterical. "I promised him because he's so scared of it and I'm supposed to protect him but I  _ failed, _ oh god I failed-"   
  
Bruce stands and heads for the door, his fists clenched, and the door closes on Barry's screams.   
  
Speedforce.   
  
That was only mentioned once.   
  
He needs to find J'onn.

 

\--

 

Wally can’t breathe. There’s no air in the Speedforce, no oxygen molecules moving to and fro, and he’s stuck in place, his useless legs standing tall and all Wally feels is suffocating  _ fear. _

A laugh in his ear, and Wally doesn’t turn his head, because he  _ knows _ exactly what it is and he doesn’t want to look it in the eyes. He did when he was ten and curious and still whole and it shattered him.

The Speedforce is not meant to be looked at, to be gazed upon. It’s a energy, the force of a single movement multiplied by infinity, and Wally has never wanted to come back here, not  _ ever. _

He’s wondered, though, in the corners of his mind, in the deepest, darkest depths, of just how speedsters can survive being stuck here. He’s never figured out an answer; he isn’t sure he  _ wants _ to. The solution to the equation is something he never wants to know.

The Speedforce holds his mind in its hand, and it’s not gentle. Already he can feel the cold, cold grasp of it on his mind, the weight of its power, and it makes him want to gasp for air, but he  _ can’t _ because there’s no air. No air, no air, no air at all, and air is a speedster’s lifeblood, more so than anyone else, because they need it to warm the muscles and make their blood flow and -

_ Wally, _ sings a distorted voice, and Wally shakes and shakes.

Since he woke up with his mind in tatters and  _ gogogo _ humming in the back of his head, he’s known he was different, and not even in the way like Uncle Barry is.

The Speedforce told him itself. He has a connection to it, opened and true, and Wally hates it, now, hates it even more than he did when he was home, because he can  _ feel _ its glee, it's utter  _ joy _ of having him here, cradled curelly in its palm.

**_Wally,_ ** it cackles, and Zoom is there, standing in front of him with a grin that stretches across its face, and Wally shivers, wanting to move but can’t.

Even here, in the embodiment of motion, of change and everlasting pain, Wally is chained.

_ Why are you here, Wallace Rudolph West, _ Zoom asks, leaning forward with a mad glint in its eyes, and Wally can’t take it anymore; he  _ has _ to breathe. His mouth falls open and he gasps for air, for oxygen that  _ isn’t here, _ and Zoom laughs that damned laugh as he crumbles to the ground below, clutching at his throat. His lungs are  _ burning,  _ begging,  _ pleading _ for air, and Wally claws at his skin, crying out soundlessly.

Zoom crouches down beside him, a malicious grin on its face, and Wally as never seen a more threatening face. He never will.

_ What’s the matter,  _ **_Wally,_ ** it sneers, drawing his name out like a kid, like the way Dick does when he’s whining, and Wally  _ hates _ like he’s never hated before. It makes him drive a fist into the ground, makes him struggle to his knees and mouth out curses.

“Fuck you,” he wheezes, using the last of his precious oxygen to curse out the Speedforce, and it’s stupid, it’s  _ idiotic, _ but Wally is, above all else, instinctive. All speedsters are, in their own way, and Wally isn’t an exception; if anything, he’s a prime example of it.

Zoom’s mouth goes tight, its hands clench, and Wally closes his eyes.

He hopes that he dies soon instead of staying here.

 

\--

 

Dick doesn't know what the hell is going on. He only knows that his best friend is gone, was taken by a speedster in black, and that Barry had to be sedated.   
  
He knows these are concrete  _ facts. _ And he is not happy with how little he knows, because that is his  _ best friend _ in danger, the one who smiled at him when he was nine and still Robin and said, "Hi! I'm Wally, it's really nice to meet you!"   
  
Dick's noticed the signs of codependency between Wally and Barry, but, honestly, it levels out their sanity. Without Wally there to draw Barry back, Barry will go too fast for even him. Without Barry there to be his cool head, Wally be make impulsive decisions that will kill him.   
  
So, yeah, he noticed. They aren't good at hiding it, not like they are at hiding their utter  _ terror _ of Zoom, at whatever Zoom is, but Dick's been around Wally enough times to see the mere  _ mention _ of the Flash's ultimate villain, of his personal Joker only  _ so much worse, _ frightens him enough to just - stop moving.   
  
And Wally never stops moving.   
  
_ So, _ Dick thinks with a grimness suited towards suicide missions as he marches towards Bruce,  _ I better find out just what took Wally. _   
  
Easier said than done, especially when Bruce is walking away.   
  
"Bruce," Dick calls, jogging a bit until he reaches him. ""What the hell is going on?"   
  
Bruce doesn't look at him, only gracing him with a flick of his eyes. "Wally was taken," he says gruffly, "and Barry suffered a mental breakdown because of it."   
  
Dick sighs, grabbing his mentor's shoulder and making him face him. "I know that," he complains. "But what took him?"   
  
Bruce rolls his eyes. "We don't know yet," he says, shifting the way he distributes his weight on his feet. "All we know is that it's a speedster, likely one similar to Zoom."   
  
Dick snorts. "Obviously. But did you just discover that Barry and Wally are codependent?"   
  
Bruce starts, looking over at him with his eyebrows raised. Dick raises his right back. "Did you really think I didn't know," he asks, amused, and Bruce scowls at him fiercely. "I'm his best friend, of course I knew. But it helped both of their mental states, even I could tell that, and I left it alone. Honestly, I was surprised Wally accepted my invitation to live with me."   
  
"Why didn't you  _ tell me," _ Bruce growls, looming over him, but Dick has been raised by him for over a decade, so he simply crosses his arms.   
  
"Because I knew you would separate them," he shoots back. "And I knew that wouldn't go over well for any of us, as shown by Barry."   
  
Bruce glowers uselessly and turns on his heel to walk away. Dick sighs and goes after him, catching his arm with one hand and forcing him to stop. "So what's our plan to get Wally back?"

"As of right now, we don't  _ have one." _ Bruce runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "Dick, I don't have any information that's useful. They've deliberately shown us certain things and not told us others, and I don't have anything I can use."   
  
"Barry must have told you something,"  Dick says, a tad desperate, because Wally is  _ paralyzed _ from the waist down and kind of depressed and he doesn't need this kind of stress.   
  
Bruce rubs at his eyes, shoulders slumping. "Barry said Speedforce. He's never mentioned it, never even  _ referenced _ it, but I heard it once. Wally said it when he had to snap Barry out of a sophisticated mind control after J'onn tried and was thrown out."   
  
Dick sucks in a breath. Wally mutters that word in his sleep, turns over and over, saying, "Speedforce...Uncle Barry...no!"   
  
He wakes up in a sweat and breathing harsh, his chest heaving for air as though he didn't have any.

"I've heard of it," Dick says through bloodless lips, arms dangling at his sides, and Bruce looks over at him sharply.   
  
"What," he demands, tense as all hell, and Dick shudders, curling his arms over his stomach and looking at the ground.   
  
"I...Wally says it, sometimes. When he dreams. I asked him about it and-Bruce, I've never seen him look that scared." Dick raises his head to look Bruce in the eyes. "He said that it's something that I should never have to face. He said that Zoom is it given form." Dick shrugs helplessly. "Of course, he was really sick at the time so I doubted it, but..."   
  
"But now you think he was telling the truth," Bruce finishes, and never before has Dick been so relieved that he can pick up on the clues.   
  
"Yeah." Dick licks his lips, remembering the  _ fear _ on Wally's face, the way he had clutched at Dick's arms and told him that he would never allow it near him. That he would protect him and that Dick must  _ never _ tell anyone, he had to  _ promise. _   
  
Dick had promised, frantic to make Wally stop and scared enough to do it. Wally is the most fearless person Dick knows, so for something to have frightened this badly, this  _ deeply, _ it must be something bad.   
  
And-   
  
And it is bad. It's so very bad because Wally is  _ gone, _ spirited away by something that makes him scared like no other.   
  
And that - that scares Dick. It scares him a lot.   
  
Bruce tugs him into his arms like he was ten and still angry at the world, tucking his head under his chin. Dick wraps his arms around his father, breathing catching in his throat, and sobs tear out of his chest with claws

"It's going to be fine," Bruce says firmly, fatherly certainty mixed in with Batman surety, and Dick relaxes slowly. He's grown up with that tone, and always, always Bruce makes it right, makes the  _ world _ right.   
  
He's never doubted Bruce, not once when he uses that voice. He's not about to stop now, not when his best friend -  _ and something more, _ his mind hisses, and Dick shoves it away, there is no time for that, not now, perhaps not ever - is gone. Not when their best source of information is being sedated, when Wally is gone.

Dick just -   
  
Right now, his world is crumbling to pieces, and he hasn't noticed just how integral Wally is to his life, just how thrown off balance he is when he's kidnapped. His fighting style was affected when Wally was declared paralyzed because he had to learn that Wally wasn't going to be able to catch him anymore. There wasn't a yellow blur running after him anymore, and it throws him off, but Wally was still  _ there. _   
  
And now he's gone.   
  
And Dick's world is thrown off its axis.

_ It's going to be fine, _ he thinks, strong in the face of reality.  _ It's going to be fine. Bruce is going to make it okay like he always does. _   
  
God, he hopes so. If he doesn't -   
  
Dick might charge Zoom himself, no matter the risk of death. He just wants Wally  _ back. _ He doesn't care what he has to do.   
  
He has a feeling that whatever he has to give won't be enough, and it crushes him, makes him clench his eyes shut and hide his face in Bruce's chest.   
  
He just wants Wally back. He just wants his best friend back. Is that so much to ask?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved and brighten up my day and are saved in my Gmail.
> 
> Also! Here's my [Tumblr.](http://nikescaret.tumblr.com) Come visit and chat with me if you want!


End file.
